F**king Halo 3 f**k… also Netflix

So lately I’ve been addicted to L4D and totally neglecting anything else. The game just keeps me coming back, no matter how many times I play it (especially if I can find a good game of Verses that isn’t full of cock-fucking fuck-cocks).

Anyways. I’ve been on my holiday weekend (four days off baby!) and I decided to visit my garage and my Xbox 360 and the NXE and what not. So my friend was over last night and we played an extensive amount of Halo 3. Like almost 10 hours of it. Just sitting back and “relaxing” drinking some beer and shooting idiots in their stupid fucking faces.

I know I’m a little late to the Halo 3 fad, but to be honest I don’t really care. I owned the game forever but I just lacked the desire to play it. I know most of you reading this are like “wtf halo 3 lol wtf thaz liek so old u r so laem lolwtf”. But whatever, I’m into the game now and I know I have a lot of catching up to do… but I digress…

After a considerable amount of time playing this game, I’ve come to a few conclusions:

First of all, there’s no fucking way these people are legit. Xbox Live needs some sort of VAC or something. I don’t know how they do it, but they do it. They are fucking hacking little ass fucks. I understand there are awesome shots, I get them, they are amazing. I’m talking about those headshots or grenade banks or random chances you stick someone with a sticky nade mid air with your eyes closed and pants down. I GET IT~! But! That shit shouldn’t happen eleventy billion fucking times in one round!

Take for instance, my friend and I are like “okay lets jump down and flank those fags over there…” and while we’re in mid air, one guy headshots us both. Okay… wow. That guy got lucky. But nooo…. when I respawn I walk around a corner (mind you on the other side of the level as this guy) and the same fucking guy headshots me the instant I become visible.

THAT’S SOME FUCK UP SHITTY FUCKING SHIT, SALLY!

Secondly, Halo 3 is anything but “relaxing”. As I metaphorically described it to my friend; Halo 3 is the Counter Strike of Xbox. It pisses me off more than it relaxes me. Last night through my endeavor I repeatedly had to create new four-letter words to curse with. I distinctly remember saying something along the lines of: “what the fuck? fucking shitty fuck that fucking cock ass stupid idiot! Why are you such a piss headed cum fuck? Don’t fucking attack me fucker! I’m not the fucking Oddball you piece of shit stupid fag-ass fucking idiot bitch cunt! NOW HE’S GOING TO WIN! KILL HIM! GOD DAMN YOU STUPID BITCH I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A TRAIN FULL OF AIDS ON YOUR WAY HOME FROM CHURCH!

*Ahem* …give or take a few fuck’s here and there.

Also. Is it me or do you never just get to fight anyone 1 vs 1? Anytime you run into an enemy, there’s someone right behind you ready to bash your skull in and steal your kill. It is just a constant wave of fuck each other over by stealing each others kills.

Lastly, let me pick my own gametype I want to play. Don’t randomly pick what I want, and then when it sucks veto it only for a shittier gametype and shittier map! Needs moar server browser.

And while I’m bitching…

About that Netflix shit that’s available through Xbox now. Don’t bother. It’s the worst shit ever. I gave it a shot and granted, the video plays like I’m watching a DVD… it really does. Very good quality and whatnot. But the selection of available movies to stream is SHIT. I MEAN JACK SHIT. The worstest, oldest, crappiest, most random movies ever. I went to “New Releases” and they had U.S. Marshals listed. Look at the date on that movie! 10 years old! I created an account and canceled it the same day.

Edit: f-word counter: 21 times in this post.