Year 2009

So my wife and I ended up going to a masquerade for New Years Eve. To be honest, I wasn’t very excited about going but it was by far the biggest event out of our choices and all our friends were going, so… whatever.

The worst part is I kept trying to find something better to do, maybe a club or some other event. They were either way too expensive or just as lame as going to a masquerade. I just don’t get parties like this where you have to wear a mask. Why can’t I just show up without a mask and get drunk and have a good time? Whats with the masks? Isn’t that where ugly people go… to parties where you don’t see other peoples faces? So am I going to be talking to lots of ugly people? Why are ugly people so ugly? These are the questions I had to ask myself.

But since I spent so much time trying to find out something else to do, I ended up having to run out last minute to find a fucking mask. And you know what I found out? Too many people throw masquerades on New Years. Every place (that was even open) was sold out of these masks. Or they had some shitty faggot masks that were shaped like a cats head or other fairy pussy shit like that. Yea that’s what I want to do, look like a Furry for New Years.

So my wife calls me because we had split up to look for a mask and she says she found a few masks and wanted to know what color I wanted. I had a choice: green, yellow or silver. I told her to just buy them all and I’d figure it out later. So when she gets home I look at the masks and they are seriously too small for my face. It was like a fat man with a toddlers jacket on. Now I’m even more pissed because not only am I going to go to a dumb masquerade but now I have to wear a really stupid mask.

All angry and annoyed, I turn to my savior. No not Jebus or Zeus… GOOGLE! Why Google? The fuck if I know, not like I could have a mask ordered and delivered in an hour. But you know what? It worked! Google saved the day! I found a “make it yourself” page and everything turned out great. Here’s a picture of my wife and I:


(oh and by the way the party turned out to be a lot of fun, it wasn’t as dumb at all. Happy New Years!)