Monthly Archive for March, 2010

Battlefield Bad Company 2

Bad Company 2 Logo 
This game is pretty fucking legit! I downloaded the beta for PC when it first game out; someone was cool enough to hook me up with a beta key. Too bad it was a waste of time/beta key/bandwidth because it played like ASS on the PC. No, not a hardware problem… totally a networking issue. The game lagged like a mother fucker (this is probably fixed by now, I don’t know). But for a multiplayer only beta it sure did kill my boner when trying to play.

this guy is so bad ass he doesnt even care hes on fire I decided to check out the demo on Xbox 360. Wait… what? People had to fight tooth and nail to get a beta key for the PC but everyone and their retarded mother could download the demo for Xbox 360? BTW the beta and the demo are exactly the same thing. Whatever. Some people I knew had already downloaded it so we rounded up the gang and deployed for battle.

Team Play

The Battlefield franchise has always proved to be a great gaming experience, but I think they’ve done an extraordinarily great job with this latest release. In general, DICE has managed to once again encourage teamwork. They don’t force it down your throat and you can be as independent as you want in the game, but still you find yourself working with squad members almost automatically. Many of the vehicles require a second person to fully utilize, and you’re rewarded with experience for helping teammates. A few points for healing this person, some more for giving ammo, or even targeting enemies. All of which is normally increased if you do the same for a squad member.

The Environment

The levels are nothing less than beautiful. Everything is destructible and structures can even collapse if you blow them up in the right places (which destructible levelsmakes for a really cool way to kill people). You can find yourself sprinting across and open area and into a house where you think you’re safe, only to have a wall or three blown open by a tank…  exposing you and your squad and filling your pants with shit. They added enough details  to provide places for hiding and flanking around enemies, yet the maps aren’t cluttered or crowded. You’ll also find great visual effects like sand clouds and fog and bloom and whatever else the level needs to help bring the world to life. But I think more than anything you find the most pleasure in seeing the destruction. A match starts and there is a completely intact city in front of you. Piece by piece the entire thing gets blown to tiny bits. Its awesome when you find some dickwads camping in an attic, sniping down on a group of your friends like a turkey shoot. Instead of risking your neck trying to sneak up on them from the stairs, you just blow a fucking hole in the roof and kill the sons of bitches.

Weapons and Unlocks

What can I really say… the weapons look great, sound great and respond fairly realistically. They didn’t bother over exaggerating inaccuracies and such. Most weapons just fire where you shoot them. Sure if you spam and spray the recoil will kick your ass, but that’s what you get for shooting like an idiot. You have to invest a little bit of time into each class, but each one has its own set of weapons and other unlocks that come pretty quick if you score decent.

BC2 weapons Not only do you unlock weapons but you unlock gadgets. I won’t go into detail on all these because there are already tons of sites you can find that have more information than I feel like typing.

Classes

As you can see in the chart above, the classes are pretty standard: Assault, Engineer, Medic and Recon.

Assault is your run-of-the-mill trigger happy bastard with an assault rifle, gun mounted and hand thrown explosives, and provides his team with ammo.

Engineer is your demolitions expert, sub machinegun wielding Mr. Fix-it. He shoots rockets at the enemy tanks but fixes friendly vehicles.

Medic is the huge gun carrying guy who can heal and revive teammates.

Recon is the dude who sits way back with an excessively overpowered rifle, blasting away at enemies and calling in mortar strikes.

Vehicles

mutha fuckin tanks

Oh yea… what’s Battlefield without vehicles? This game does not let you down. Tanks, UAVs, helicopters, Hummers, mounted weapons and ATVs. They all pretty much fucking rock. The tanks blow shit up, Apaches terrorize EVERYTHING and the ATVs are the ultimate flanking vehicle. Each one has its strengths and weakness and are balanced pretty well. Except for the Apache. If you get a good pilot in there with a good gunner… all hell breaks loose! Once again you’re going to find much more information on other sites, so I won’t bother.

Conclusion

Get. This. Game. You won’t regret it. When you get to the multiplayer games I highly recommend playing each class and unlocking their basic items first. It sucks being Assault and not being able to resupply ammo, or Medic and unable to revive people. I will warn you that at first you’ll be pretty frustrated because everyone has unlocked stuff like the Magnum Ammo (every gun does more damage) or body armor or shit like that. You feel weak in comparison to everyone. But just grind through it and soon you’ll be unlocking stuff too and kicking major ass.

I rate this game 2 cookies + win.

My somewhat retarded friend

I’ll make this quick. I have a friend and he’s somewhat retarded. For the sake of the story, let’s call him E. Mowinckel. No that’s too obvious. Lets say Edward M.

Ed is special

I first got to know Edward by playing Team Fortress 2 with him. He always played as the Medic and his name was "Edward the Retarded Medic"… he assumed the role very well. He would scream absurd things like "THERE ARE VERY BAD MEN OVER HERE! RUN! RUN!" in a silly retarded voice (I can’t stress the word retarded in this post enough).

He listens to The Cardigans. He makes French Onion Soup about once a week (which probably says much about what his breath smells like). He replaces the word "fuck" with "frak" because he’s an huge Battlestar Galatica fan. He has a compulsion to put sandwich bags on his head… because… why not put them there? He tweets non-stop. OH GOD DOES HE TWEET NONE STOP. Here’s a few examples:

I made my own waterproof skin for my netbook, it works really well, check it out; http://bit.ly/ckOXOO

I am completely out of food, I really need to buy more. Tomorrow’s French onion soup and Caprica day, I can’t mess that up, man.

Oh, I rule. I am the number one search result on google images for The Cardigans, and Viper checklist.

I think I frakked up my sub while experimenting with the brown note.

Just a few examples. Oh and my favorite part. He’s completely unable to communicate with females:

When a cute girl at my school asks ‘so what do you do outside of school?’, I really shouldn’t answer with ‘Mostly sit home and watch BSG’

Metaphorically speaking, this is what it’s like when he tries to do anything:

But at the end of the day, he’s a pretty good guy. I’m just glad we’re thousands of miles away from each other (did I mention he’s Canadian and lives in Canada? Sorry I should have said that sooner).

Chihuahuas and my Nexus One

evil fucking dog Let me just get this out of the way… remember my post about how I sorta dislike chihuahuas? Today sealed the deal for me. The stupid thing was taking a dump in my daughters room… you know where she plays on the carpet and all… and my wife started screaming at it. Instead of running away, it sorta waddled away… while it was still pooping. Creating what I can only describe as a “model train replica” of dog shit. The “engine” or front of the train was in Ashlyn’s room, which was followed by all the shit cargo containers. The “caboose” or end of the train was in our upstairs hallway. The entire time it was shitting my kids were following it screaming and laughing. It was a horrible moment.

On a lighter note, I got a new phone. I was really excited to get the T-Mobile G1 when it first came out, but as the Android OS has been developing more and more, and the phone wasn’t built with specs that could keep up. I’ve been stuck on Android 1.6 while 2.1 is already out.

Not only that, but I’ve gone through 3 G1 phones. Its a great phone when its working, but not so much when the camera stops working or the phone locks up for random reasons (trust me, its a hardware issue, not the OS).

Nexus One is sooo purdy

So I upgraded. The Nexus One is pretty amazing. I can’t believe how fast I’m browsing websites (especially with the new multitouch). The camera (with flash!) is really good, and my pictures Gallery even syncs with my Picasa account so I can see any image from my Web Albums. Right now I have no complaints, but to be fair I’ve only had it for a few days so I’ll be sure to do an update in a few weeks or a month or so.