I’ll make this quick. I have a friend and he’s somewhat retarded. For the sake of the story, let’s call him E. Mowinckel. No that’s too obvious. Lets say Edward M.
I first got to know Edward by playing Team Fortress 2 with him. He always played as the Medic and his name was "Edward the Retarded Medic"… he assumed the role very well. He would scream absurd things like "THERE ARE VERY BAD MEN OVER HERE! RUN! RUN!" in a silly retarded voice (I can’t stress the word retarded in this post enough).
He listens to The Cardigans. He makes French Onion Soup about once a week (which probably says much about what his breath smells like). He replaces the word "fuck" with "frak" because he’s an huge Battlestar Galatica fan. He has a compulsion to put sandwich bags on his head… because… why not put them there? He tweets non-stop. OH GOD DOES HE TWEET NONE STOP. Here’s a few examples:
I made my own waterproof skin for my netbook, it works really well, check it out; http://bit.ly/ckOXOO
I am completely out of food, I really need to buy more. Tomorrow’s French onion soup and Caprica day, I can’t mess that up, man.
Oh, I rule. I am the number one search result on google images for The Cardigans, and Viper checklist.
I think I frakked up my sub while experimenting with the brown note.
Just a few examples. Oh and my favorite part. He’s completely unable to communicate with females:
When a cute girl at my school asks ‘so what do you do outside of school?’, I really shouldn’t answer with ‘Mostly sit home and watch BSG’
Metaphorically speaking, this is what it’s like when he tries to do anything:
But at the end of the day, he’s a pretty good guy. I’m just glad we’re thousands of miles away from each other (did I mention he’s Canadian and lives in Canada? Sorry I should have said that sooner).