Brandon's Blog » humor http://www.foszor.com/blog Fri, 30 Jul 2010 09:12:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Coworkers in a barely different dimension http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/05/coworkers-in-a-barely-different-dimension/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/05/coworkers-in-a-barely-different-dimension/#comments Thu, 20 May 2010 07:48:12 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/05/coworkers-in-a-barely-different-dimension/ My sister’s pilot sitcom took first place on the Channel 101 website, its pretty awesome! They just finished up filming the next episode, I’ll be sure to post a vidya here when they’re done editing.

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/05/coworkers-in-a-barely-different-dimension/feed/ 2 Communication 101 http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/04/communication-101/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/04/communication-101/#comments Sat, 17 Apr 2010 17:14:41 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/04/communication-101/ The following event is based on a true event. It IS a true event. The names have not been changed to protect anyone’s identity or prevent any shame. The only change I made was save the images to a permanent location to preserve the hilarity. Reader discretion is advised.

 

Brandon: http://garryspin.com/
Tom: who made this site
Brandon: no idea
Tom: i did a beach cleanup today
Tom: so retarded
Tom: spent more time listening to consetent people that called themselves tree huggers every 14 seconds
Tom: then actually doing anything
Tom: i was there for 3 and a half hours and did a 30 minute beach clean up and they just walked on the beach picking up stuff really slowly while talking about how amazing they are and how no one else understands
Tom: AND THE GIRLS WERE UGLY
Tom: GODDD
Brandon: whoa whoa
Brandon: when did this turn into an open platform
Brandon: I was just sending you a link
Brandon: I wasn’t prepared for all this nonsense
Tom: im gonna go cut myself
Tom: kthxbai
Brandon: http://i40.tinypic.com/m9ulig.jpg
Brandon: http://i41.tinypic.com/2lcqq8m.jpg
Brandon: http://i43.tinypic.com/4t8210.jpg
Brandon: catch my drift?
Tom: http://i44.tinypic.com/2namk95.jpg
Brandon: I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength

P.S. Tom = Terminal58 aka Termy aka :termy:

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/04/communication-101/feed/ 0 Chihuahuas and my Nexus One http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/03/chihuahuas-and-my-nexus-one/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/03/chihuahuas-and-my-nexus-one/#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:36:30 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/03/chihuahuas-and-my-nexus-one/ evil fucking dog Let me just get this out of the way… remember my post about how I sorta dislike chihuahuas? Today sealed the deal for me. The stupid thing was taking a dump in my daughters room… you know where she plays on the carpet and all… and my wife started screaming at it. Instead of running away, it sorta waddled away… while it was still pooping. Creating what I can only describe as a “model train replica” of dog shit. The “engine” or front of the train was in Ashlyn’s room, which was followed by all the shit cargo containers. The “caboose” or end of the train was in our upstairs hallway. The entire time it was shitting my kids were following it screaming and laughing. It was a horrible moment.

On a lighter note, I got a new phone. I was really excited to get the T-Mobile G1 when it first came out, but as the Android OS has been developing more and more, and the phone wasn’t built with specs that could keep up. I’ve been stuck on Android 1.6 while 2.1 is already out.

Not only that, but I’ve gone through 3 G1 phones. Its a great phone when its working, but not so much when the camera stops working or the phone locks up for random reasons (trust me, its a hardware issue, not the OS).

Nexus One is sooo purdy

So I upgraded. The Nexus One is pretty amazing. I can’t believe how fast I’m browsing websites (especially with the new multitouch). The camera (with flash!) is really good, and my pictures Gallery even syncs with my Picasa account so I can see any image from my Web Albums. Right now I have no complaints, but to be fair I’ve only had it for a few days so I’ll be sure to do an update in a few weeks or a month or so.

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/03/chihuahuas-and-my-nexus-one/feed/ 0 Former President Lyndon Johnson talks about his bunghole http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/02/former-president-lyndon-johnson-talks-about-his-bunghole/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/02/former-president-lyndon-johnson-talks-about-his-bunghole/#comments Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:36:34 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=926 You have to listen to it at least till he talks about his bunghole. Hard to believe this is the President of the United States speaking.

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2010/02/former-president-lyndon-johnson-talks-about-his-bunghole/feed/ 0 Don’t Bogart Me! http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/09/dont-bogart-me/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/09/dont-bogart-me/#comments Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:30:11 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=803

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/09/dont-bogart-me/feed/ 0 Megan Fox and a Transformer http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/megan-fox-and-a-transformer/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/megan-fox-and-a-transformer/#comments Mon, 22 Jun 2009 01:38:35 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=742 2 random hilarious images!~

First, the saddest picture ever (but also has Megan Fox in it, so it sorta cancels it out… sorta) Be sure to click to enlarge:
Sad Megan Fox picture

Next, the kind of Transformer you hope you don’t find:
Handicap Transformer

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/megan-fox-and-a-transformer/feed/ 1 Relinquishing my PS2 http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/relinquishing-my-ps2/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/relinquishing-my-ps2/#comments Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:02:37 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=702 playstation 2 logo

I had to give up my PS2 this evening… why? It’s all about growing up.

No no no… you got it all wrong… I’m not growing up, silly goose. My son Aidan is growing up. Seeing as I have an Xbox 360, Dreamcast and 2 laptops in my garage, I figured I could spare the hardware (well not really, but I’ll find a way to cope with my loss). He’s 3 1/2 now and we’re trying to find ways for him to become more independent.

First thing first is getting him out of our bed. I totally blame my wife and she takes full responsibility, but he’s used to sleeping in our bed. It all started when he was really young and I worked shitty hours. My wife didn’t like sleeping alone so she brought him in bed with her. Now that’s all changed and its becoming really annoying waking up in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in your back because his elbow or knee is digging in. So how do we solve this dilemma? Bribery. I told him I would give him the PS2 (along with the Guitar Hero controller) if he started sleeping in his bed… then after a solid week of doing so he’ll get a new game.

I’ll report back in a week and we’ll see how it went. By the way, while searching for the PS2 logo I came across this image. Holy fuck.

Video unrelated…

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/relinquishing-my-ps2/feed/ 1 17 dolla’ gansta’ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/17-dolla-gansta/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/17-dolla-gansta/#comments Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:30:21 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=697 I was falling asleep driving home the other day, couldn’t keep myself awake! I started doing random weird shit and just happen to record it:

On another random note: A few days ago the most wonderful thing occurred. I played Garry’s Mod WITH my son. As most of you know Aidan loves the game. Maybe its because there’s no objective he can fail at, or maybe its because he can spawn as many Mossmans as he likes and shoot them in their face… I’m not entirely sure. But he loves the game!

About a week or so ago I custom built a laptop for my wife. I even threw in a nVidia card, the 9800 series or whatever… not exactly sure right now. Well anyways, it runs games great, even the Source Engine games. I figured… instead of Aidan taking over my computer and playing games he could play games on her laptop. So I created him a Steam account, gifted him my extra Half Life 2, then bought him Garry’s Mod. As if my son having his own Steam account wasn’t cool enough… this meant we could play games together!

It was awesome! I put him in a Ventrilo room with the transmit set to voice sensitivity and we played through a couple HL2 single player maps together. He was able to comprehend that it was his dad with him in game, he would ask me to follow him and watch him as he shot Combine and random citizens. Everything was going great until he decided to shoot me. I asked him to stop so he killed me with the crowbar. Being the tough guy I am, I respawned and took him out with an alt fire of the shotgun. BAD FUCKING IDEA!

Maybe he’s smart enough to figure out 3D games and coordination with keyboard+mouse controls, but the trauma of having his dad shoot him was too much. He broke down in tears, screaming and crying. Ask Chad he was there… it was pretty sad. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

And by learn I mean he learned not to fuck with his dad.

Edit:

By the way Aidan is 3, and Chad’s comment below was a true moment:

Aidan, put down the car and come over here… AIDAN PUT IT DOWN

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/06/17-dolla-gansta/feed/ 5 I’m an idiot http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/05/im-an-idiot/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/05/im-an-idiot/#comments Sun, 24 May 2009 22:01:29 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=676 Been working hard on the server lately, trying to get everything configured the way it needs to be. Setting up security, installing applications and managing game server content… all the normal shit you would expect.

Oh, then I disabled Remote Desktop connections.

FUCK ME



Update: After giving my host detailed steps on how to fix it, its finally fixed… woooo!

]]> http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/05/im-an-idiot/feed/ 3 I love the internet http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/05/i-love-the-internet/ http://www.foszor.com/blog/2009/05/i-love-the-internet/#comments Sun, 10 May 2009 22:13:13 +0000 brandon http://www.foszor.com/blog/?p=656 Conversation with tonyategecy@hotmail.com

Brandon: who’s this?

Tonya: hey, Age/Sex/Location? :)

Brandon: ohh a bot

Tonya: hey whats up babe, U got a webcam? finally someone adds me, I am soo fuckin horny today for some reason lol

Brandon: do you like penis?

Tonya: listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u do..lol!

Brandon: I’m already naked

Tonya: I can show u how to watch if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$

Brandon: penis?

Tonya: well since its the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT.. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! http://www.***.com/sofia fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live!

Brandon: penis?

Tonya: Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?:-$

Brandon: penis?

Tonya: OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn…I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u… You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..

Brandon: I SAID PENIS

Tonya: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my webcam show if you want to watch click the link http://www.***.com/sofia

Brandon: cock tease.

My favorite part is when I said penis. Anyways! Tomorrow or the next day I’m going to spill the beans on whats going on with me lately. Only reason I’m not doing it now is because I’ve already spent all that time formatting that chatlog so I don’t feel like typing anymore ;)

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